Saturday, 9 September 2017

legal driver

Hey guys

My past failure in driving test totally spoiled my confident to do better on the upcoming test. To be specific, i need that SELF ESTEEM to ensure i can re-seat the test in a slay way in order to become a legit driver! However, all the horrible scenes kept on playing in my mind like there is no full stop. The harder i try to forget, i will ended up living in my own fear of being a loser. Biggest distraction dictated.... 

This time, i can't lose this battle, i must winnnn! Ehermmm hello old memories, please back off and stop entering my life. I need more space to locate the other bittersweet memories so yahhh please fade away from my bank memoriesss. I'm in my 'move on' phase so please gimme some cooperationnnn *blood cry*

Yes this stubborn memories like finally obeyed to my instruction. Fuh finally i'm free from that darkest side of memories so lets start everything all over again! I can pass this test with flying colours! I can do it I can! Nothing can stops me from being successful, nothing! Well actually there is, my darkest memories came back guys. Crawling with a wicked intention to pull me down. 

My mental lose again, i let the memories conquered my positive thinking which caused me to have a bad fear and somehow, trauma. I can remember (again) every inch of the incidents on how my car get stucked in the middle of the road due to my stupidity in balancing the acceleration and clutch, how the engine died during my 3 penjuru section, how speechless i was when the examiner screamed to me "Dahh kau dah gagal, keluar!'' That 'GAGAL' cop on my marking paper, it was so huge and heartbreaking guys. 

Argh what a pressure. I don't want to fail again, i can drive like a Toretto during our driving classes but everything turns otherwise when it comes to JPJ test blerghh what a nonsense. And fyi, fail is equal to addition of moneyyyy. I wsih i could pluck my armpit hair and turn it into RM 100 notes as many as i want. I WISH. I'm broke enough, check out the calendar, lambat lagi nak dapat gaji! Where can i get a  huge amount of money in a short period of time? The inner in me suddenly demand ''i wish i'm a rich hijabista'' lol

This ordinary hijabista totally screwed herself up. I don't want to owe anyone money so by hook or crook I need to work harder and put an effort to earn money in order to pay the re-seat test. You know, in whatever situation, God is the most generous and the best planner. Jeng jeng jeng its Raya month! Best platform to gain money. Smart!

I'm not using my height or face to say that i'm still young and people must give me some duit raya but well, what to do, i'm effortlessly look young so it totally a bonus or strategy for me to earn some money hehe. Those who don't know me in person might thought i'm still a Secondary school student and to make things worst, there is some makciks who thought i'm a 12 years old girl. Hiks. Still whenever people ask, "sekolah lagi?'' of course i will answer it sincerely ''sekolah lagi baru darjah 5'' lol just kidding ''sekolah lagi sekarang Diploma'' (nak duit berkat kena jujur) and those hands who gave me some duit raya, come can i resist and say ''eh takpelah'' don't be fake! obviously i will take the duit raya quickly before the makciks change up their mind and take back the duit hahah. Yes raya month has saved my miserable life

Fyi, i used all the given money throughout the raya to pay for my re-seat test in JPJ. God bless those people who gave me the duit raya. Thank u peoplee i love u guys dearly! Then the inner me somehow said, "u don't have to be such a rich hijabista, do a review and modelling job to earn money, so tiring. Just use your childish face and height to gain money during hari raya.'' Ya Allah Zamaliah, istighfar!

Money are all enough. Still the incomplete preparation is the drive itself, which is me. Mindset are all screwed up! All the tragic scenes still haunting me with no mercy. When i observe the track that i'm gonna use soon, danggg flashback phase again... What make my pits to sweat more was when The Zaki's were only put a pressure on me like ''u must pass this test, don't do stupid mistakes'' . I want to get mad and rant to them on how they should not put a high expectation on me, yet it's not the right time to start up a drama. And i don't want to be anak derhaka since i need their bless in order to get Allah's bless too to esnsure He will ease my test soon hehe. So look down to my such an angle replied hahah #stilldontexpecttoomuchfromme 


Heart skips a beat when i red the result, I passed ujian litarrrr wuhuuuu test 1 are all done. Anyway, this achievement would not be succeed without the help of my teacherrrr. He intentionally prepared the car that i usually use during my driving classes on the track during my task 1 so i will be able to use the car that i'm so used into. Ugh u de bomb teacher! 

p/s: There is no bribe issue right here, it was just him who so kinddd to arrange the car for me. The car was being used by everyone too since we are all need to seat for the same test. To simplify everything, my teacher was not only helping me to succeed, he actually has helped others too since the car was so damn easy to handle! Those who get the car are super duper lucky actually 

Test 2: Road test. Fuhh quite nervous because there are 2 probability for everyone; you will either get a Viva or Axia car. This was dependingg on the number of cars available during that time and which examiners are free to judge you. For me, of course i do pray to get a nice JPJ examiners and yes i'd prefer to drive Axia since it's more sturdyyy and cool. Luck was by my side, i got the chance to drive Axia, yes!

I thought Axia gonna make me shine like a diamond but no guys. I have no idea how to change the gear because it get stuck and can't be changed. H.A.H.A so funny. I never meet this kind of gear throughout my 20 years living in this universe (never get an exposure act, i should study more abt car) The bad side of driving a 'canggih' car. Lesson learn, before u drive an expensive car, pls google and do some research first on how does the engine, clutch, hazard light, air conditioner function, to ensure u don't look like an idiot when u drive next to an expertise. Now, i'm stuck with this serious man who didn't show any interest to me and he was so busy jotting down his notes to my result paper. Please don't deduct my marks pleaseeeee 

Related image
The one that i usually use

Image result for gear for manual car
during the test

p/s: the gear photo is different than the actual that i used bu
t this is de nearest example that i found hehe

JPJ: Kau tunggu apa lagi? Jalan lah!

Me, still struggling to figure out how to use this 'canggih' yet 'annoying' gear in a right way. Ogoshhh how to change. The car was still didn't show any signs to move. Panic... i don' want to get stuck during our journey, again. I can't fail this test, no wayyyy!

Me: Kenapa gear ni tak boleh tukar? 

That serious JPJ still maintain his level of seriousness. Why u so seriousss dear old man. Sad, there was no sign of help from him. I'm just a naive girl who have a big dream to become a legal drive, can't u just help me to figure it out :(

JPJ: Tengok tangan saya ni, nak tukar gear macam ni.....

Yes he helped this desperate girlllll. He showed me the right way to change that 'canggih' gear. God bless you. Throughout our journey, of course he do yelled at me due to my mistakes in changing the annoying gear (still struggling) haha and i'm just ''okay okay sorry cik!'' its like yes sir i will follow all your instruction, please let me pass.

He eventually let me E.X.C.E.L the test.  i LULUS and i'm legitimately has became a legal driver.  Hello hello to all drivers out there, see u on the road yo!

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